


two become one— it could be lethal.

by junfhongs



Series: body language. [1]
Category: NU'EST
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - College/University, Catboy Jonghyun, Dogboy Seongwoo, Friends to Lovers, Hybrids, Language, M/M, Minhyun-centric, Minor Hwang Minhyun/Ong Seongwoo, Rabbit Hybrid Minki, Sexual Situations
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-29
Updated: 2017-09-29
Packaged: 2019-01-06 19:39:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 17,913
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12217587
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/junfhongs/pseuds/junfhongs
Summary: hybrid!AU. it was natural for Minhyun to fall for his roommate of three years, but he didn't know if it was normal to be so fascinated with petting his best friend's head all the time.





	two become one— it could be lethal.

Minhyun woke up to the sound of the front door slamming and footsteps storming their way to the tiny kitchen, neither of which was a good sign of a happy roommate. He got out of bed and tossed on a coat, not liking the sound of keys being thrown into the glass bowl that they kept by the doorway so that neither of them would forget to bring the keys whenever they left the house.

Jonghyun was, in fact, in the kitchen, preparing a glass of water with a paper cup. Something bad must have really happened for him to not trust his own hands in holding something as fragile as glass.

Minhyun stopped by the counter. "Hey," he said softly. Jonghyun's tail was already fluffed out; Minhyun didn't need to introduce his presence since Jonghyun was hyperaware of everything already. "What happened today?"

Jonghyun turned around, eyes sharper than usual and ears twitching. "The rally today was—"

He choked up. Minhyun took that as his cue to step forward and place a hand on Jonghyun's shoulder. The catboy— _no, he hated being referred to as just that_ —tried to brush Minhyun's hand away, but he slowly warmed up to the touch. Minhyun took his time to chip away at Jonghyun's defenses until he was finally able to wrap his arms around Jonghyun's shoulders and to pull him into a tight hug.

Jonghyun sighed and rubbed his cheek against Minhyun's shirt. "They're trying to take away our health care rights, Minhyun. If my parents get sick or my sisters get injured, how do they expect us to pay for that? How do they expect us to contribute to society if they won't give us a fair shot at keeping ourselves alive?

"I'm tired of fighting, Minhyun," Jonghyun whispered, "not when it feels like we have no chance of ever winning."

"Don't say that." Minhyun squeezes Jonghyun's arm. "I was with you when they legalized marriage between hybrids. I saw how happy you were, how proud you were that you fought for that. Never forget that feeling."

Jonghyun grit his teeth. "They still treat us like we're less than _purebloods_ —"

Minhyun bristled. "You know I hate that term—"

"It's a lot less shameful to be called that compared to simply _being_ a hybrid." Jonghyun pulled away. His eyes had a fire in them again, but it quickly dimmed down as he was reminded of the exhaustion on his shoulders. "It wasn't just the rally. Some asshole tried to grope me on the train ride home."

Minhyun clenched his fists. "I'm sorry, I should have come with you today."

"It's fine, I—" Jonghyun was still shaking. "I'm over it."

Minhyun hesitated to place a hand on Jonghyun's shoulder, but it was Jonghyun who first reached out and went back to his position against Minhyun's chest. He inhaled deeply; Minhyun remembered a late night conversation they once had about Jonghyun feeling safe in Minhyun's scent. At first, Minhyun didn't buy it; he even had fun trying to tease Jonghyun about having a crush on him.

Now, as he felt Jonghyun's heartbeat slow down and saw his tail slowly unfurling and wrapping gently around Jonghyun's leg, he was glad to be of help somehow. Somehow, he became a semblance of home for Jonghyun, a safe space to be in. Minhyun was happy to play the part.

Minhyun would be lying if he said he wasn't at least a bit attracted to his roommate of three years. Jonghyun was kind, charming, quiet for the most part but very, very passionate about hybrid rights. He was completely unassuming, but he was also completely different when he was given the opportunity to speak about the rights of his people.

He had the right to be. He came from a long line of hybrids, most of which faced decades upon decades of oppression from their pureblood masters. When hybrids were finally given rights as their own persons, the world changed bit by bit. Hybrids could finally speak out and break free from their contracts that treated them like slaves.

They asked for basic rights and more involvement in society. They fought for their right to marry and procreate, silencing everyone who claimed their reproduction was like pests multiplying or immigrants invading their land. They fought tooth and nail for every bit of recognition in the fields that they were contributing to, and hybrids were represented more and in a better light in the media after decades of being portrayed as either mindless slaves or mindless sexual beings.

In Jonghyun's family, he was part of the first generation who could be sent to college after years and years of scrounging up every bit and working tirelessly to support their children. Jonghyun was a hard worker, and Minhyun was a witness to his many sleepless nights and small breakdowns over the years.

Minhyun was fascinated by Jonghyun, but he could never be too obvious about it. Jonghyun had other things to worry about, and his roommate's little crush on him shouldn't be a part of it.

"Alright, that's enough," Jonghyun said as he pulled away from the embrace. He smiled though—the soft one that seemed to be reserved only for Minhyun—and his hands lingered on Minhyun's arm as he walked away. "Good night," he said from the hallway.

"Good night," Minhyun replied, but his mind was stuck on Jonghyun's smile and the warmth of his hug, even if Minhyun could still feel Jonghyun's bony shoulders digging into his chest. _Warm._

Minhyun shook it off and got himself a glass of water. Jonghyun's used paper cup was crumpled by the floor; usually, Minhyun would find time to nag at him, but this felt like a difficult night for Jonghyun.

Minhyun picked it up. If Jonghyun were only furious, it would be squeezed and crushed at the middle by a fist that needed to swing out and release its frustration. Instead, the cup was crushed on both sides by two hands that were shaking in distress and pierced by claws that only came out when Jonghyun felt like he truly needed to defend himself.

It must have been a truly difficult night. If Jonghyun wanted to talk about it, he knew who to come to.

Minhyun washed his glass and walked back to his room, but before he could hide back in his room, he saw a pair of shining eyes by the couch. Minhyun always thought Jonghyun's eyes sparkled way more than a regular person's and it was probably a characteristic of a cat hybrid, but Jonghyun would have none of it. It didn't matter. Minhyun just liked having a reason to stare at Jonghyun for a second or two longer.

"Hey," Jonghyun said as he curled into himself on the couch. Minhyun closed his bedroom door behind him and walked towards the bundle of sheets. "Want to pass out on the couch with me tonight?"

Minhyun smiled and sat on the armrest. "Do I have a choice?"

"Well, you're here now," said Jonghyun. Minhyun chuckled and settled down beside Jonghyun on their strangely large couch, allowing Jonghyun to lie down with his head on Minhyun's arm. They wrapped themselves in blankets, and Jonghyun finally settled on his position with his ears tickling Minhyun's chin.

"Hey, remember I have a rehearsal at nine tomorrow," said Minhyun.

Jonghyun mumbled in response, "Set your own alarm." Minhyun smacked him lightly, but Jonghyun was already fast asleep.

This wasn't the first time they did this. Sometimes it would be Jonghyun who needed Minhyun's scent to fall asleep. Sometimes it was Minhyun who needed Jonghyun's constant purring in his sleep so that he could finally stop talking in his mind and slow down for long enough to pass out. Most of the time, they both just had bad days that they wanted to forget in the comfort of someone's arms. Today was one of those days.

But Minhyun couldn't sleep easily tonight. His mind was racing, as it usually did, but it was focused on something a lot closer to home. Actually, it was right in front of him: _the_ _damn ears._

Really, Minhyun never paid special attention to Jonghyun's cat parts. Believe it or not, his unique features weren't the most striking things about him, and Minhyun always had more things to focus on and appreciate when it came to Jonghyun. But the curiosity was killing him. He never really tried it before—

Minhyun had a hand on Jonghyun's head before he even realized it. Jonghyun's sleep purring stopped, and instead he started _mewling_. Cutely.

Minhyun was dying inside. The great dilemma of his life hinged on whether or not he had the mental fortitude to take his hand off Jonghyun's soft— _so soft_ —ears and go to sleep, completely trying to block out the memory of Jonghyun's purring vibrating against his chest and into his skipping heart. It was crazy to realize how much Minhyun wanted to hold Jonghyun even closer than he already was.

Minhyun made the grave mistake of curling his fingers and accidentally scratching the scalp behind Jonghyun's ears. The result was instantaneous: Jonghyun started purring again, this time curling up around Minhyun and hugging his body tight. He stretched his neck out and rubbed his cheek against Minhyun's shirt and started kneading at whatever surface his hands were on.

Minhyun was entranced, hands and body held in place by the weight of Jonghyun's body on his, seeking more and more warmth from a boy whose blood was slowly starting to run cold.

When Jonghyun bent his knee and had his thigh flush against Minhyun's crotch, well… Minhyun knew he had to get out of that situation and he had to do it _fast_.

It was difficult with the way Jonghyun sniffled as Minhyun pulled his hand away forcefully and the way Jonghyun opened his sleepy eyes to look up at Minhyun. "Are you leaving?" he whispered. Jonghyun still had a hand curled into Minhyun's shirt and a thigh between his legs; Minhyun realized that his answer was a hesitant _'no, but I probably should.'_

Jonghyun was satisfied when Minhyun stayed still, curling around him and purring himself to sleep once again. Minhyun almost attempted to pull away again, but then he heard Jonghyun's deep inhale as he buried his nose into Minhyun's shirt. This was the only place where Jonghyun could feel safe after a really long and difficult night. Maybe Minhyun was willing to make a little sacrifice of his sanity just to protect Jonghyun for a night.

 

 

———

 

 

Minhyun was very, very late to his rehearsal the next morning.

Minki just laughed as he slid into his seat quietly, ignoring the glare their conductor levelled at him. Minhyun had a stiff neck because of his awkward position last night— and also because he crept craning his neck to see if Jonghyun was asleep enough for him to actually slip away. Needless to say, Minhyun was practically stuck there until Jonghyun woke up.

Minki chuckled as Minhyun slipped into the seat beside him, avoiding their conductor's glare. "Don't worry; I covered for you."

Minhyun's face dropped. "What did you say? Please don't tell me you spun a ridiculous story—"

"I just said you stayed overnight outside the city and you couldn't leave early enough. Not bad, right?" Minki gave Minhyun a once-over. "Yikes. Rough night?"

Minhyun hit his arm. "Keep it down!" he hissed. "And _no,_ it was nothing like that."

Minki shifted in his seat, making sure his rabbit tail wasn't being crushed. "Alright, I'll hear the full story soon."

"There _is_ no story. It was just—" Minhyun sighed and tossed his head back in frustration.

Minki's eyes widened and he leaned even closer. "Is this about Jonghyun? Did something finally happen between you two?" Minki moved away as their conductor cleared his throat. He covered his face with his sheet music and leaned closer again. "Frankly, I'm offended that you still haven't confessed your huge little crush on my best friend."

"Your best friend had a bad day, and I did my duty as a good roommate and comforted him," whispered Minhyun. "Now _drop it._ We're going to get killed at this rate."

Minki snorted. "You didn't even deny that you have a crush."

"Well, there's no point in hiding it from someone like you," Minhyun hissed. "You're… you're a _hound dog._ "

"Correction, I'm a checkered giant rabbit hybrid." Minki scrunched his nose. "Get your facts straight."

Minhyun sighed and let his mind drift away for the rest of their rehearsals. Choi Minki was a blessing—really, he was—but Minhyun hated how simple life seemed to him. Minki could probably profess his love for someone, get rejected, sulk for a while, and eventually move on as if it were just a minor bump in the road.

Minhyun… he had been stuck for the past three years, and he didn't show any signs of ever telling Jonghyun how he felt. Minki snorted when Minhyun first told that to him. "I mean, _really?_ Jonghyun's an understanding person—"

"I don't want him to understand me; I want him to like me back." Minhyun groaned as he dropped his head on the table. "But he has problems with life and himself, and I don't think he has time to deal with me in the middle of all that."

And that was it. The cycle just kept going, and Minhyun felt more and more pathetic as time went on.

Then last night happened, and Minhyun didn't really know what to do with the information he gathered. When they first got to meet each other, they were both country boys who just arrived at the city and needed a decent place to stay near their university. Minhyun was surprised to see a pair of ears sticking out from behind the couch as he arrived, but after their first strange encounter, the two of them warmed up to each other quickly.

Minhyun read articles about dealing with hybrids and sharing an intimate space with them, but Jonghyun never manifested the territorial or hostile behavior that the internet warned him of. Jonghyun was just… Jonghyun. Minhyun never bothered to wonder why.

But when Minhyun accidentally started petting him, Jonghyun seemed a lot more like what Minhyun first expected of him: cuddly, clingy, and even a tad bit possessive as he slept. He almost seemed—

Now if Jonghyun ever heard Minhyun use the word 'docile' to describe a hybrid, Minhyun knew he wouldn't be able to leave the conversation without a deep gash from Jonghyun's claws. Minhyun knew everything about the hybrid rights movement from his roommate, and it was easy to get along on that issue because Minhyun understood their plight and supported it. If he didn't, he knew his friendship with Jonghyun wouldn't have formed at all.

Without Jonghyun, he probably wouldn't have met his other friends as well. Minki reminded him of that as he smacked Minhyun's head with a rolled-up stack of papers to wake him up. "Oh, sir's going to murder you the next time he sees you."

Minhyun groaned and rubbed his eyes. "How long was I out?"

"Basically, from when you sat down to the end of practice." Minki looked at his watch. "That's about a good hour or so."

"Oh shit, I'm really going to die." Minhyun stood up and stretched. He noticed a figure standing by the door and placed his arm on his hips with a grin itching to spread on his face. "Hey, Kang Dongho! What are you doing here?"

Dongho walked in and said waved at some of the members he still recognized, taking a seat at his usual section in the room. "What? Is it wrong to visit?"

"We kicked you out of the group for a reason, you know," Minki teased, but he took a seat while the rest of the members all left the room, leaving the three of them alone. "Wow, it's been a long time since the three of us were here together."

"Yeah, well, nodules suck," Dongho said nonchalantly, but the pensive look in his eyes told another story. He must really miss doing what he loved the most, but Dongho shrugged it off. "Enough of that; are you going to Aron's party tomorrow?"

Minki's eyes widened. "That's tomorrow?"

"Wait, Aron's back?" Minhyun perked up. "Why didn't anyone tell me? How long will he be home?"

Minki played with the hem of his shirt. "This isn't his home, Minhyun."

Minhyun sighed. "It was, for a while." The room grew silent. "It's been two whole years since he left."

Aron was ahead of them by two years, so when the four of them first arrived, he was about ready to go back home to the States where he came from. None of them remembered how they all met and formed the group, but Aron was their first loss.

"The grass has always been greener over there for him," Dongho said. "He said he needed to take a break, so he's going to visit for a while."

Minhyun went through all his ignored messages on KakaoTalk. _There it is._ "Oh, I'm surprised he still owns that old apartment. I'm really curious though; what brought him back?" Minhyun grinned. "You think we can get him drunk and make him spill?"

Dongho snorted. "Don't kid yourself; you'd be knocked out after a single shot."

"So would you," Minhyun shot back, and it took a split second of dignified staring before they all burst into laughter. "Alright, I have a class in a few minutes. I'll go ahead."

"Take care," Minki said, "and would you do the world a favor and just tell Jonghyun already?"

Minhyun couldn't get a word out before Dongho perked up. "Ooh, is this about Minhyun's little crush at first sight? That's _still_ going on?"

 _"I'm leaving,"_ Minhyun grumbled, ignoring the crowd of two that was snickering at his cowardice.

 

 

———

 

 

Jonghyun was already used to Minhyun's clingy tactics, the tactics that forced them both to spend their free Thursday nights on the couch, binging movies and laughing at stupid dramas. Minhyun was more of an action junkie, but he liked Jonghyun's enthusiasm when it came to animated movies. The rest of their friends knew not to bother the two during their movie nights.

Today, Jonghyun's contribution—and apology for keeping Minhyun up at night—was a copy of some dubbed film with flashy explosions. They weren't really watching for the plot; it was more important for them just to make use of the huge television that Jonghyun's sisters bought for him as a housewarming gift.

"Move over," Minhyun mumbled. He dug his toes between the cushions of the couch, forcing Jonghyun to curl into himself by the armrest. Jonghyun let Minhyun's head rest on his chest.

"Why are you so long?" Jonghyun mumbled in response. Minhyun stretched even further to force Jonghyun against the couch. Jonghyun attempted to roll him off the couch and laughed as Minhyun landed on his face.

Minhyun shot up, a daring smirk on his face. "Oh, you started it." Minhyun crawled back up and took revenge on Jonghyun's sides.

"Don't you dare—" Jonghyun could barely get the words out before wheezing in laughter. He tried to kick Minhyun off, but he ended up slipping off the couch in another fit of laughter.

The movie was forgotten by then, left playing for an audience that was rolling on the floor in an impromptu tickle fight. Jonghyun stepped back, tail high in the air. Minhyun was on the floor, right between their beaten-up coffee table and couch, with a cheeky smile on his face.

"I win," Jonghyun whispered, now crawling towards Minhyun. Suddenly, this was starting to get very _dangerous_. Jonghyun's eyes were sharper than usual with a glint that Minhyun rarely got to see.

Minhyun was kind of glad that he never had to. Jonghyun as a predator was similar to Jonghyun as a performer: wild eyes and burning passion searing straight into Minhyun. His sharp moves onstage were just like his stalking movements now, and Minhyun almost felt scared as he reached out when Jonghyun came close enough.

Then Minhyun did it again—placed a shaky hand on Jonghyun's head—and waited for the reaction. He waited for Jonghyun to pull back or lash out at him, feel those claws digging into his arms as a physical reminder that this was a friendship with boundaries that he shouldn't have crossed. He waited, and he waited…

And waited…

… and he opened his eyes to see Jonghyun with his eyes half-closed above him, tilting his head up to meet Minhyun's hand. When Jonghyun opened his eyes, they were glazed over with something Minhyun couldn't pinpoint.

Minhyun moved his hand, slotting Jonghyun's soft ears between his fingers, scratching lightly at the scalp. Jonghyun's response was a soft sigh and a bowed head, and he moved closer and closer to Minhyun as his breathing sped up. _"Minhyun,"_ whispered Jonghyun. There were dangerously close now, and the temptation to lean up just the slightest, hold Jonghyun's head by the nape, and—

A particularly loud explosion from the TV speakers snapped Jonghyun out of his haze, and he jumped back while Minhyun's hand was left helpless by his side. Their eyes refused to meet, but Minhyun could see the tip of Jonghyun's tail whipping back and forth as Jonghyun attempted to clear his throat and stand up. Minhyun kept his eyes on the ground as he sat up and climbed his way up to the couch again.

"I…" Minhyun tried to start, but his breath got caught in his throat when he finally found the courage to look up at Jonghyun. The catboy—oh, he would _really_ hate Minhyun now for calling him that—was staring at the distance with dark eyes, tail still swinging rapidly and knees shaking slightly. "I'm sorry," said Minhyun, but he didn't know what he was apologizing for.

Jonghyun cleared his throat. "It's okay." He took the remote and paused the shitty film he spent twenty minutes trying to save offline. "I'm tired. I'm going to bed now." Jonghyun's eyes were empty now, but Minhyun felt himself shiver when he remembered how dark they were as Jonghyun hovered over him, inching closer and closer to a kiss that Minhyun didn't know if he was anticipating, a kiss that could finally satisfy Minhyun's curiosity on whether or not there really was something in the way Jonghyun smiled at him or the way their bodies fit together as they slept together or—

_Stop. Full stop._

"Sure," Minhyun said, trying to be casual in the face of Jonghyun's apparent mental shutdown. "I'll see you tomorrow. Aron's party, remember?"

"Right, that's tomorrow," said Jonghyun. He rubbed the back of his head _—soft ears bouncing slightly—_ and groaned. "I have a rehearsal for my recital next week, but I'll drop by right after."

The atmosphere was killing Minhyun. "You think we should get him a gift?"

Jonghyun snorted. "For what?"

"The two birthdays we missed while he was gone?" Minhyun laughed as Jonghyun stared at him incredulously. "Come on, let's be good friends. I missed the poor guy."

"Yeah, well, the 'poor guy' you're talking about never appreciated our shared gifts." Jonghyun smiled. "It's not our fault we're poor guys too."

Minhyun leaned back on the couch and waved Jonghyun away. "Alright, fine. Go to bed. I'll clean up here."

"As you should. Good night," Jonghyun said, but his tone seemed distant again. He walked back to his room with a lingering look at Minhyun before he closed his door for the night.

Minhyun sighed and stood up, stretching his arms high above his head. That's when he noticed his boxers pressing against his sweatpants, and he groaned as he buried his face in his hands. Oh, he _really_ needed to clean up this mess.

 

 

———

 

 

Minki greeted Minhyun at the door and dragged him into a group hug with Aron and Dongho. "Geez, slow down!" Aron laughed. "You all missed me, I get it."

Dongho shoved them away. "Not that attitude though," he said, but Minki quickly dragged him back into the hug.

Minhyun had an arm over Aron's shoulders when Minki finally let them breathe. "Hey, we're still missing one."

"Where is Jonghyun?" asked Aron. "Please don't tell me he's out buying a cheap couple gift on your behalf. I've been telling you this since I first got that towel set I saw on a clearance sale—"

"He's _not,_ but I am deeply offended that you don't appreciate our thoughtfully affordable gifts," Minhyun said in mock-offense. "He has a rehearsal, but he's coming later."

"Aw, thanks," Aron joked with that grin that always made him look stupid. Minhyun kind of missed that. "Now, are you telling me that in the two years I was gone, you _still_ haven't hit it with Jonghyun?"

Minhyun groaned. _This_ he didn't miss.

"Oh, someone finally said it," Dongho said, walking over to Minhyun and patting him on the back. "Come on, let's get some drinks so you can pour your heart out before Jonghyun gets here."

"Not going to happen, Kang Dongho," Minhyun crossed his arms, "unless you get drunk with me."

Minki and Aron looked at each other and grinned. "Sure, you two," Minki said. "We'll give you the baby drinks while the big kids have fun, okay?"

The two left Minhyun and Dongho there, ignoring the way they glared while Minki and Aron chatted comfortably. It had been three whole years, but those two would never let them live down that one night they decided to share their first drinks together and Dongho and Minhyun were the first ones to pass out miserably. Minki refilled their glasses with water and watched as they thought they were getting more and more drunk.

In frustration, Minhyun and Dongho spent the rest of the night attempting to one-up the other on Aron's old foosball table. Minki was greeting people and handing out food while Aron was passed back and forth between his groups of friends, all wanting a glimpse of their old friend before he vanished again.

"You still want to ask?" said Dongho, noting how Minhyun's gaze on Aron helped him score a few points. "I'm curious too. I wonder why he came back."

Aron left right after he graduated, excited to come home to his family and really start his career in writing. At first, they all tried to keep in touch with him, but he slowly withdrew from all sorts of contact with them. They'd occasionally check up on him, but they couldn't find anything about Aron Kwak and his various literary misadventures or the like. At one point, Dongho joked that he must have been a figment of their imagination, someone they all made up to help them cope with being away from their hometown and family for the first time.

"Maybe it didn't work out," said Minhyun, pensive for a moment. "That would have been the first thing he would talk about, wouldn't it? He was so excited when he left."

Dongho and Minhyun both glanced over at Aron, now mingling with a new set of guests. He was smiling, laughing, making all his dumb faces as he always did, but his gaze seemed lost and far away. He must have felt their eyes on him and turned slightly to look at them, flashing them a concerned look and another half-smile.

"I think—" Dongho shook his head at Aron and pretended to start another game on the foosball table, "I think you're right."

Minhyun took a sip from his drink of— well, there's no point in lying; it was just water. "It's a pity."

"Don't say that," mumbled Dongho. "He wouldn't have gotten farther here even if he had stayed."

Minhyun stretched his neck to the side. "At least we have our friend back, right? It's nice to be complete again." His phone buzzed in his pocket, and he checked who the message was from. _Perfect._ "Speaking of being complete—"

 _"Hey!"_ Minki's tipsy yell was heard all the way across the apartment. He had an arm around Jonghyun's shoulders as soon as the boy stepped inside the room and— _wow._

Minhyun was always left in awe of Jonghyun as a performer, when his seemingly harmless and endlessly kind roommate transformed into someone completely different. He was still recognizable, but the little things that Minhyun adored in their everyday encounters now left him breathless as Dongho attempted to snap him back to reality.

Someone shoved him to the side harshly. "You're acting like you've never seen Jonghyun before. Get your shit together, man," Dongho said as he snickered. He waved over at Jonghyun and pinched Minhyun's arm one last time. "Hey. How was rehearsal?" he asked when Jonghyun was close enough.

Jonghyun rolled his neck back. "So tired," he grumbled. Minhyun reached out to the back of Jonghyun's head and dunked his head forward, laughing as Jonghyun spluttered forward and shot him a look. His eyes were always shining, but now they were framed with light makeup that made his eyes even deeper and more intense. Minhyun couldn't help but stare blankly while Jonghyun waved and greeted at some people he knew.

Minhyun was kept in that cycle for the rest of the night. He stuck to Dongho and Jonghyun while Minki was all over the place and Aron was busy trying to keep up with all his guests. The three of them ate, laughed, drank a little bit—while pointedly _ignoring_ Minki's snort every time they tried to approach the kitchen cupboards—and kept themselves entertained until the crowd slowly thinned out.

Dongho had a meeting the next morning, so he bid them goodbye before anyone else. Minki had a little too much to drink and took a nap on the dining room table. Aron was cleaning up in the kitchen, sober enough to know that he'd rather clean while he was tipsy instead of hungover.

And Jonghyun? Well, he was nearly passed out beside Minhyun on the couch, smiling blankly at the ceiling. Minhyun had an arm around his shoulders, shaking him every time Jonghyun threatened to fall asleep and give Minhyun a hard time dragging him back home. "I'm so tired," Jonghyun murmured.

"Want to go home?" asked Minhyun. Honestly, he was a little dizzy, ready to pass out too, but he needed to get Jonghyun home safely.

Jonghyun turned to face Minhyun and buried his face into Minhyun's chest. He inhaled deeply, and that was it. Jonghyun buried his fingers into the soft cotton of Minhyun's sweater and dozed off there, leaving Minhyun stuck in that position for virtually forever, not knowing what to do with himself. He settled for the most natural thing to do: he relaxed, he held Jonghyun closer to him, and he started petting Jonghyun's head again.

It sort of just… happened. Jonghyun's grip tightened on his shirt, and his head rose slowly, expression hidden from Minhyun's sight. Minhyun tilted his head down to meet Jonghyun's eyes— Jonghyun's eyes which were _pleading_ , pleading for something Minhyun couldn't understand. Jonghyun glanced down, and he hid his glassy eyes as he purred deeply with Minhyun's continued movements. It took Minhyun all of his courage to lean forward that slightest bit, their noses touching before their eyes met again, asking for permission to close that gap and—

Jonghyun inhaled deeply as he pressed their lips together, softness against softness, fingers gripping cotton even tighter. Minhyun's instincts told him to pull back as his fingers threaded into Jonghyun's hair and caused him to groan. The distance was minimal, but Jonghyun's bright eyes told Minhyun to dive back in as soon as they both took a deep breath. It continued on, lips and hands and purrs vibrating at all points of contact.

Until they heard a loud cough from behind them and dodged a dishrag tossed in their direction. "Really?" Aron crossed his arms as Jonghyun quickly pulled himself away from Minhyun. "Right in front of my sa— actually, the joke doesn't work in Korean." Aron wiped his face to wake himself up. "Alright, this is cute, but—"

"We're leaving," said Minhyun, glad that his voice didn't crack with nerves and… _excitement._ He tried to look at Jonghyun, but the courage he managed to find earlier seemed to have dissipated when he lost Jonghyun's touch. "I'll go get our coats," he told Jonghyun with both their gazes on the leather of the couch.

_The couch we kissed on. Well, fuck._

"I'll look for my bag," said Jonghyun, and Minhyun followed Aron to the closet as quickly as he could.

Aron gripped Minhyun's shoulders as soon as they were out of Jonghyun's sight. "What was that?"

Minhyun shrugged. "I don't know! It just… happened." He found their coats and played with the buttons to avoid Aron's prying eyes. "I don't know what happened."

"Are you happy?" Aron leaned back on the door. "You like Jonghyun. This is what you wanted, right?"

"I don't know," said Minhyun, now with the courage to look up. "I don't know what this means, and right now, I think it means nothing."

Aron sighed, patting Minhyun's back while his other hand was on the doorknob. "You should go, figure this out."

Minhyun nodded and gave Aron a hug before he found Jonghyun waiting by the door. Wordlessly, he handed Jonghyun his coat, careful not to make contact with his hands. They stayed silent as they walked to the subway station with their cold hands occasionally brushing each other's with each bouncing step. They stayed silent as they sat beside each other on a nearly-empty train, an unconscious choice they made as they huddled for warmth on the seats below the heater vent. They kept that silence even as they walked up to their apartment.

Really, this wasn't what Minhyun expected. Was it the alcohol? He knew the liquid courage was dangerous for someone like him, but Jonghyun didn't get reckless the way Minhyun usually would. The strangest part was that _Jonghyun started it._ He placed his head on Minhyun's shoulder first, he looked at Minhyun first, and _he_ closed the little gap where Minhyun still hesitated. If he started it, did that mean he actually wanted it?

Or maybe this was just one of those things that people did when they were drunk. Jonghyun would laugh, brush it off, and Minhyun would have to do the same if that was what Jonghyun decided.

— except he knew he wouldn't be able to forget the way Jonghyun gripped his shirt; the way Jonghyun's eyes were sparkling even as he was half-asleep; the way Jonghyun's lips pressed against his with hesitation for the first time, but he grew bolder as they held each other closer; and the way Jonghyun purred as they kissed, contentment seeping into their bones. If Aron hadn't caught them, Minhyun knew he would have stayed like that for as long as he could, for as long as Jonghyun would let him.

Minhyun heard Jonghyun lock the front door, and they dropped their keys into the bowl. Minhyun paused and turned around before they parted ways for the night. _Now or never._ "Jonghyun—"

He was stopped by a hand on his cheek. "Hey," Jonghyun whispered, voice soft and sleepy. Minhyun wasted no time before leaning down and meeting Jonghyun's lips again. Jonghyun stroked his cheekbone with a soft thumb, warmth of his palm meeting the warmth of Minhyun's skin. If he could, Minhyun would have stayed like this for as long as possible.

Unfortunately, he knew he could only stay for as long as Jonghyun would let him, for as long as Jonghyun wanted it. "This is…" Jonghyun took a deep breath. "It's okay. This is okay, right?"

"Yeah," said Minhyun, breathless. He didn't want to admit that his head chased after Jonghyun's touch when he pulled away.

"Okay. Let's… keep it this way?" Jonghyun smiled, dopey but content. His eyes were beautiful, and Minhyun could only nod as he was captivated— _yet again_ —by Jonghyun's gaze.

Jonghyun squeezed Minhyun's arm before he walked away, bidding him good night before closing the door on him. Jonghyun wanted it to be… okay. Uncomplicated. Things were fine as they were, and nothing should ruin that. He was right, and a part of Minhyun knew he agreed with this.

Except… he never thought he'd get to this point. He's here, so _what's next?_

 

 

———

 

 

Nothing. Nothing came next.

Jonghyun and Minhyun fell into familiar patterns, wordless everyday workings that were almost mechanical. Minhyun spent a little longer than usual in the shower, thoughts of Jonghyun and that kiss they shared in the hallway right outside this room. Just a few hours before, Minhyun thought he was getting somewhere by getting the physical validation that _yes,_ he wasn't the only one feeling this tension between them recently.

"Your phone's ringing," said Jonghyun as he got his plate and walked to the kitchen. Minhyun absentmindedly answered the phone and almost fell off the chair as Dongho and Minki's screaming attacked his ears from the other end of the phone.

"What's going on?" Minhyun grumbled. The phone number was Aron's, so at least he knew the other two didn't call him this early in the morning just to piss him off. "Aron?"

He could hear Aron's laughter finally coming into focus. _"Sorry about that. Have you had breakfast?"_

"Yeah, just eating right now." Minhyun picked up his plate and fork. "But if you're offering a treat, it would be rude of me to say no, right?"

 _"Sure,"_ said Aron, laughing again. _"Meet us at the usual brunch place. We barely talked last night; I'm sure there's_ lots _to catch up on."_

Minhyun's eyes narrowed and he ignored the last bit. He was sure that Minki and Dongho were itching to know the full story by now. "Brunch? It's eight in the morning," Minhyun said with his phone tucked between his shoulder and his ear. Jonghyun took the plate silently and started washing. Minhyun nudged Jonghyun's side, and they both jumped as Jonghyun accidentally dropped the plate into the sink. Thankfully, nothing broke, but Jonghyun still seemed more rattled than usual. "You okay? Aron's asking if you want to have breakfast with the rest."

Jonghyun's tail suddenly raised up and curled at the end. He seemed to be embarrassed by it, turning his body to face Minhyun more. "Oh, I have a class in an hour."

 _"Aww, too bad,"_ said Aron.

 _"Good; we have a_ lot _to talk about, Hwang Minhyun,"_ Minki said from a distance. _"… This isn't on loudspeaker, is it?"_

Minhyun laughed, patting Jonghyun's shoulder as he walked back out of the kitchen. "It's not; don't worry. I'll come, just don't interrogate me or anything."

 _"No promises,"_ said Dongho, a bit far from the receiver. _"I can't believe the interesting stuff happens when I go home early. Then again, I probably wouldn't have wanted to witness that."_

 _"And it wouldn't have happened with your breathing down Minhyun's neck in impatience."_ Minki snorted. _"We'll see you soon, okay Minhyun? No running away!"_

Minhyun was laughing as they hung up, and he slipped his phone back into the pocket of his sweatpants. Jonghyun was still in the kitchen, finishing up the last of the dishes. Minhyun took the dishrag at the side and started drying and sorting the dishes they used. "I'll finish up," said Minhyun. "I didn't get to take my turn last night."

Jonghyun's tail acted up again. "Last night…" Jonghyun turned off the sink and placed the last bowl on the rack. Minhyun kept his eyes on his hands, but he was waiting for Jonghyun to complete the sentence, to say _something._ Was he going to talk about it properly now? Was he going to tell Minhyun that it was a tipsy mistake? Was he going to pretend it never even happened?

Jonghyun took off his gloves and stretched his arms behind his back. "I'll go ahead. Make sure to lock up before you leave," he said, eyes bright and dauntless. Minhyun watched as Jonghyun walked away without even looking back, without saying what needed to be said. Really, were they going to act like nothing happened? Was Minhyun stuck with that memory for the rest of his life, tinged with a bit of regret and the stupid inkling of hope that it could have led to something more?

Minhyun leaned his forehead on the cupboard. _What a mess._

Aron, Minki, and Dongho thought the same. They listened to him whine melodramatically, the same way he did when he first saw Jonghyun dance. It was stupid and crazy to admit how quickly he fell for Jonghyun, and though he knew that Minki would never let him live it down, he crumbled quickly when the three of them started to pry.

"See, this would be cute if I hadn't been listening to the same thing for the past three years." Dongho took a sip from Minki's coffee. "Nothing's changed with you."

"Yeah, he's still the same dork," Minhyun narrowed his eyes at Minki, "but they kissed! That's pretty new."

Minhyun leaned back and took a sheepish bite from the piece of toast Aron gave him. That _was_ new. He still remembered the way Jonghyun clung to him, the way he _purred_ into the kiss. The softness of Jonghyun's ears always shocked Minhyun, and now he craved to reach out for Jonghyun again and have a feel for the little tufts of hair that made him completely melt, pliable and warm. It was nice to see Jonghyun let his guard down. He always said that Minhyun made him feel safe; Minhyun wanted to see that more often.

"Hey, Earth to Minhyun," Aron said, waving in front of him. "Crap, we lost him again."

Minhyun put his toast down and sighed. "Haha, funny."

"Did he say something about it? Did you two even _talk?_ " asked Dongho. Minhyun's silence was enough of an answer; the rest of them groaned in unison. "Well, shit. The rest of us are going to be caught in some awkward sexual tension shit between you two from now."

Minhyun sat up. "Not true!"

"Yes, true," Aron said, staring blankly at Minhyun. "Maybe I should have just stayed in the kitchen. If I let them get it on, do you think we wouldn't have to deal with this?"

Minki laughed. "Jonghyun would never actually let Minhyun put his hands on him."

"Okay, I have sort of proven that wrong—"

"And if they did go through with it," Dongho faced Aron, " _you're_ going to have to clean up the stains on your couch."

The three of them groaned. "Oh, _gross_. Now the image's in my head." Aron made a face. "Okay, sorry for the blue balls, Minhyun, but at least that nasty crisis was averted."

Minhyun glared at them as they erupted in laughter, absolutely _loving_ how much they could piss Minhyun off. Minki placed his arm over Minhyun's shoulders, bumping into him cutely. "Aww, don't be mad! We support you; just don't do anything that'll break the group up."

Dongho kicked Minki's shin under the table. "He doesn't mean that," said Dongho. "It's your relationship with your friend; we'll be here if anything happens."

"Thanks," Minhyun said, too embarrassed to really look at the rest of them in the eyes. "It means a lot. Knowing me, though—"

"Nothing's going to happen," Aron finished for him. They all shared a laugh, too familiar with each other to beat around the bush at this point. Minhyun didn't have Minki's infectious personality or Dongho's bluntness to get him through this situation quickly; he was always too afraid of causing tension to develop that direct attitude. He would take his time with this, and they all knew that they'd just have to wait and see.

 _Wait and see,_ Minhyun repeated to himself for the rest of the week as absolutely _nothing_ happened. Jonghyun was busy with rehearsals, Minhyun was busy with classes, and neither of them could make time to sit down and force a talk. They barely even had time to brush shoulders as they did the dishes or lean on each other for a few seconds before they had to go on with their day.

Minhyun missed the little moments with Jonghyun. He missed the daily patterns and conversations and the soft way that Jonghyun would smile at him in the morning as they attempted to scrounge something up for breakfast. Minhyun would offer to cook and Jonghyun would laugh and they would both point at the post-it stuck to the refrigerator door telling one of them to buy cereals again.

In another world, Minhyun would have laughed again—the hearty kind that Jonghyun was probably sick of by now—and then he would pull Jonghyun in for a hug, a kiss on the temple as they swayed around the kitchen before finally deciding that they would just get some cheap kimbap from the convenience store across the street.

In this world, he was stuck with seeing Jonghyun for a few minutes every day before they had to part ways again. In this world, he always came home to a cold and empty apartment. As much as he wanted to call Jonghyun and check up on him, maybe even tell him that he missed him, Minhyun knew Jonghyun was going to be busy for just a few more days. After that, he would have a roommate again. Maybe they would even find time to talk about that damn kiss.

Until then, Minhyun would wait.

He waited until the night of Jonghyun's recital, the first one that he couldn't attend in their three years of friendship because of a shift that he couldn't avoid. Minhyun was already asleep when he felt the bed dip behind him, and reflex almost made him swing a punch, but a familiar tuft of fur swiped his leg.

"Jonghyun?" he murmured. The figure made a sound, and Minhyun was forced to move aside on his full bed. "What are you doing here? How was the recital?"

"It was fine. The heater's broken in my room," Jonghyun said, and he wasted no time in settling down and kneading on the blankets.

"Why don't you stay on the couch?" Minhyun groaned as Jonghyun pulled out his arm and rested his head on it.

"It's warmer here," said Jonghyun, but he wasn't really referring to Minhyun's heater. Minhyun didn't know how else to react to that, so he adjusted to the weight on his arm until they were lying down in their usual position, lots of space on the side but neither of them willing to move away from each other.

"Have you showered? Taken off your makeup, at least?"

Jonghyun smacked his chest. "Yes, I did, you _nag._ Now let me sleep."

Minhyun chuckled, and he smiled when he felt Jonghyun purring when he inhaled deeply. "I'm sorry I couldn't be there."

"It's okay," said Jonghyun. "I wish you were, though." And that was all he said before he fell asleep in Minhyun's arms. Minhyun didn't have enough energy to really look deeply into his words or into the way Jonghyun just crawled into his bed without second thought. There would be enough of that in the morning.

Minhyun's dreams were plagued with warmth, with softness beneath his fingertips, with Jonghyun's smile during that one time that they went out to see the city lights when they first arrived in Seoul. Jonghyun was beyond amazed at the sight of the city; Minhyun was beyond amazed at the sight of Jonghyun right in front of him: real. _Beautiful._

Minhyun woke up first, and it took him a while to adjust to the sight of someone else in his bed. Jonghyun must have been really exhausted from the performance, and the nag in Minhyun noted the slight darkness on the roots of Jonghyun's lashes. He almost wanted to reach out and wipe it off, but he didn't want to disrupt the peace on Jonghyun's face. _Beautiful._

Geez, this was pathetic. Minhyun wanted to smack himself; this crush was stupid, and it was getting him nowhere.

Still, he rarely had a moment to just enjoy this kind of peace. He rolled to the side until he was facing Jonghyun's chest, close enough to lean up and bury his nose in Jonghyun's neck. Instinct told him to place an arm over Jonghyun's waist and breathe in _deep,_ the way Jonghyun would do it to him.

Minhyun was surprised a few minutes later to feel Jonghyun rouse, to have his groans and sleepy purrs vibrating against his cheek. Minhyun thought he would be brushed off or gently moved to the side; instead, he got a hand on his head scratching at his scalp, the way he would do it to Jonghyun.

Jonghyun had his other hand on Minhyun's waist, his thumb stroking the skin that was peeking out between the waistband of Minhyun's boxers and his thin shirt. Minhyun couldn't resist the temptation to move a bit and nose at Jonghyun's collarbone. This made Jonghyun squeeze at Minhyun's waist, and Minhyun got up and leaned on his elbow to hold his body up.

"Morning," he whispered.

Jonghyun's eyes were sleepy but bright and also _clearly_ fixated on Minhyun's lips. A part of Minhyun wanted to tease; he lifted his free hand and held Jonghyun's cheek again, fingers wandering into his hairline. At this point, Jonghyun was already purring, leaning into the touch. Then he stared straight at Minhyun and tugged at the hem of his shirt.

Those eyes were _pleading_ with him again. Minhyun had no choice but to obey, leaning down to meet Jonghyun's lips.

It dawned on Minhyun that he would never get sick of this. He would never get sick of the way Jonghyun would rise to meet his touch, the way he could feel Jonghyun's eyelashes fluttering as their soft lips pressed harder against each other. He would always crave how Jonghyun's body twisted towards him and how he would crouch and hollow his frame out to make space for Jonghyun curving into him. He would spend hours upon hours thinking of how natural it was for Minhyun to tangle his fingers in Jonghyun's hair and for Jonghyun to curl his fist into Minhyun's clothes whenever they pulled apart for a short breath.

It was a cycle that Minhyun couldn't imagine breaking out of. Jonghyun kept pulling him back down, grip on his shirt getting tighter every time Minhyun attempted to pull away. His body was getting heavier, his lips were chapped, and his eyes were blurry every time he tried to open them. This was consuming him, consuming _them,_ and Minhyun was afraid that he wouldn't be able to escape the way Jonghyun's bedroom eyes seemed to lure him back in for another peck, then another deep kiss that seemed to never end.

Minhyun used all of his restraint to slide his hand down and push at Jonghyun's chest to give them a little space. That seemed to be enough for Jonghyun to really snap out of it, eyelids suddenly much heavier than they already were. His grip loosened, and his hand settled back on Minhyun's waist.

They paused to catch their breaths. Minhyun loved the pink in Jonghyun's cheeks and the red on his shiny lips. He was tempted to dive in again, bury himself in this moment forever, but he knew the dream had to end.

"Do… do you have a class today?" said Minhyun, words broken by heavy panting.

Jonghyun took a while to answer, catching his breath too. He pulled back from Minhyun's touch, yawning and turning to his other side. "After lunch. I'm sleeping in."

It took him a whole three seconds before he fell asleep again, and Minhyun was left on his side, staring at Jonghyun's back. _Fuck it,_ he told himself, and Minhyun moved to hug Jonghyun from behind.

Minhyun's ribs met a hard elbow, and he rolled back to avoid any further injury. Jonghyun chuckled a bit, and his body turned even farther away from Minhyun, a complete 180 from the way he almost melded into Minhyun's body barely even a minute ago.

Minhyun laughed—his default reaction, really—but now he felt the cold draft sneaking into his room and slipping into the gap between him and Jonghyun. As much as he wanted to reach out, the air of winter seemed to hold him in place, far from the warmth of the body that once sought after him.

 

 

———

 

 

Minhyun almost dropped his phone in the sink when he heard screaming from the other end. Checking the caller ID, he sighed when the tinny screaming finally stopped. "Jaehwan? Are you okay?"

 _"We made it! We got into the festival we auditioned_ three times _for,"_ Jaehwan yelled into Minhyun's ear. Minhyun grinned, despite himself. He knew Jaehwan's deep passion for performing, and Minhyun supported his band in all their gigs and performances.

Minhyun rubbed the sleep away from his eyes. _11:39. Still too damn tired._ "Alright, you want to celebrate? I'm willing to treat you to lunch."

 _"You had me at the word 'treat', my good friend."_ Jaehwan laughed. _"I'm still walking to school, but I need to stop by our practice room to leave some documents. Oh, shi— sorry!"_ Jaehwan sounded like he tripped on something, and Minhyun laughed at the image of the bumbling idiot on his phone nearly colliding with a poor stranger. _"Sorry about that. Could you meet me there?"_

"Sure, Jaehwan," said Minhyun, trying to recall the right path to their secluded band practice room. They had to beg the music department to at least give them a shitty basement room so they wouldn't bother anyone else, but Jaehwan and his band members really treated the place like home. "See you soon."

Minhyun stopped by the door marked with an obnoxious "SHELROCK!!". He was with Jonghyun when Jaehwan first ran up to them and proposed the dumb name in excitement. He just finished his first rehearsal with his new bandmates, students from the music department all specializing in different instruments.

"I'm a genius," Jaehwan said. "This is the best you're ever going to get."

"Sure," said Jonghyun, smiling even as he rolled his eyes and threw a balled-up tissue at the freshman that annoyingly stuck to them after the orientation. Jonghyun and Minhyun weren't even _from_ the same department; Jaehwan first tried to latch onto Dongho, but now they all knew why that wouldn't have worked with their personalities combined. Instead, Jaehwan stuck to Jonghyun and Minhyun who were nice enough to put up with him, along with the crap from their other friends.

Minhyun peeled off an exclamation point that was starting to fall apart. When he opened the door, Minhyun was surprised to already see someone in the room. The tall figure turned around, still on the phone with a familiar tinny scream that Minhyun eventually identified as Jaehwan. "—that's great! Thank goodness we didn't storm their office to check if they still remembered our audition tape, right?" A hearty laugh. _Huh._ "Yeah. Just drop it off. I think your friend's here to pick you up already."

Minhyun nodded and took a seat on the stool by the corner, the one that Jonghyun helped Jaehwan assemble when they first settled into the room. It was funny; even in here, Minhyun could find something that reminded him of Jonghyun.

Minhyun shook it off. _Not now._ "Are you the new drummer?" asked Minhyun. He remembered Jaehwan being completely broken up about their original drummer dropping out of uni; Minhyun never actually asked him about the new one, did he?

"Yeah, that's me. Ong Seongwoo," he reached out his hand and grinned, "and you must be the friend."

"That's me, though unwilling human sacrifice to Jaehwan's fanclub might be more accurate." They both laughed and shook hands. "Hwang Minhyun. I was also the original backup vocal, but Jaehwan thought I'd outshine him, so he scrapped that idea."

Seongwoo's eyes widened. "You're from the music department? I've never actually seen you around."

Minhyun laughed. "I'm just kidding. I am part of the acapella group, but I'm just a poor literature major."

"Ooh, a man of music and words? Very romantic," Seongwoo teased, and at this point, Minhyun didn't know if this was what flirting was like. This poor literature major never actually dated properly, and his closest romantic encounter was with his roommate who was currently pretending as if they didn't just make out a few days ago. _Really, what a mess._

Seongwoo turned on the other light in the room and pulled aside the curtains that were covering their tiny window in the corner. That was when Minhyun noticed the dark tufts of hair sticking out from Seongwoo's head. Seongwoo yawned and scratched at his ears, then turned around to see Minhyun fixated on them. He smiled. "What? Never seen a husky hybrid before?"

Minhyun snapped out of it and rubbed the back of his neck. "Sorry, I was— uh, I just—"

"Don't worry about it," said Seongwoo, still smiling. "Yes, some of us don't have tails, and no, we didn't inherit the thick coats so we're fine even if it's warm outside. The ears make me cute for pictures, but they also make me look like I have a permanent bedhead; it's kind of annoying."

Minhyun laughed, unused to someone being so open to him even if they just met. "I know; my roommate's a cat hybrid, and he's always trying to tame them when we're taking group pictures. Sometimes they cooperate, but then his tail's the one that starts acting up."

"Why would he hide them? Cat ears are so cute!" Seongwoo sat on his throne, grinning now. "And hey, thanks for not questioning me when I said I was cute. Plus points for you."

"Plus points on what scale?"

"Any. Depends on what you want me to see you as," Seongwoo said, pose casual but eyes shining. "Also depends on whether you want to meet up again or not."

"Huh." Now, Minhyun was no expert, but this was _clearly_ flirting. Tall, cute, and charming drummer? A lot of things told Minhyun that he was at the slightest bit interested.

Seongwoo was done scribbling something on a piece of paper when Minhyun finally got his head straight. "I thought I could wait for Jaehwan, but my next class has a demon for a professor and I really wouldn't want to be late." Seongwoo handed him the paper as he grabbed his bag from the floor. It was his number, _of course._ "Text me if you want to go out sometime. Or whenever, really."

Minhyun smiled, unconsciously fiddling with the scrap of paper in his hands. "Yeah, I'll definitely do that."

"Yeah?" Seongwoo had a hand on the doorknob, but his eyes still lingered on Minhyun before he moved to turn it.

"Yes, I will," Minhyun said, cheeky grin starting to form on his face. "Now _go._ It was nice meeting you, Seongwoo."

Minhyun groaned as he realized that he was still smiling even after Seongwoo left. It was… weird. Normally, he wouldn't entertain the thought of a new relationship that easily. His friends all came along at the same time, more or less, and he wasn't the type to open up too easily. That's why he was stuck with the same three people for the past few years, plus Aron who was essentially gone for most of the time and other random acquaintances like Jaehwan or people he met through his stint as a temporary assistant.

Now, he was on Seongwoo's profile, going through pictures of him in gigs with Jaehwan or walking around Seoul with a smiley boy that Minhyun recognized from Jonghyun's recitals. He was a drama major, but he shifted to percussion in the middle of his second year. He was a CF model in his spare time— a fact that wasn't too surprising, to be honest. He liked posting pictures of himself with dog filters because he found the entire thing ironic and funny. Minhyun thought the same.

The piece of paper with Seongwoo's number was heavy in Minhyun's pocket. He didn't have much time to think of it before Jaehwan burst into the room, excited and bumbling around again. "Hey!" He looked around. "It's just you?"

"Yeah, Seongwoo just left," said Minhyun.

"Oh," Jaehwan said as he dropped the envelope by the table. When Minhyun looked up from his phone, he saw Jaehwan's stupid smirk. "Well, I see you two met."

Minhyun shut off his phone's screen, a little embarrassed at what Jaehwan might have seen. "Nice guy."

"Yeah, I'm sure he was," teased Jaehwan. "I didn't think Seongwoo would fit your type though. I mean, hybrid? Check. Short, cute, and almost annoyingly nice? Eh, not so much."

"Haha, funny," Minhyun said. Everyone loved to tease him about Jonghyun; he was surprised that Jonghyun hadn't figured it out until _recent events_. Really, what kind of best friend would just initiate a kiss like that out of nowhere? Minhyun knew his facade was completely blown by now.

Minhyun rolled his eyes. "Also, I like Jonghyun for a lot more than that. It's not a type."

"It's cute how you didn't even deny that I was talking about Jonghyun." Minhyun dropped his face into his hands as Jaehwan pat his shoulder. "Aww, poor love-struck Minhyun. Maybe you _should_ go out with Seongwoo; it might help you get over Jonghyun," Jaehwan searched for Minhyun's expression, " _if_ that's what you actually want."

Minhyun thought about it for a while. _Did_ he want to get over Jonghyun? Why was he even playing around with the gentle looks and the kissing and the avoiding each other right after? What did those even accomplish for him?

"I'll think about it."

 

 

———

 

 

The night was colder than usual, and Jonghyun stuck to Minhyun's side as they walked down the street. Their hands were filled with flyers and protest paraphernalia. "Thanks again for coming with me," said Jonghyun. He coughed into his sleeve; the past week was rough on his health and he had to stay at home for a few days to let the flu die down a bit. "Sometimes I get tired of fighting for the same things."

Minhyun shrugged. "I believe in the cause. Why wouldn't I come?" Minhyun smiled at Jonghyun, face hidden behind a stack of flyers. "And I couldn't just let you out in the cold without being there to make sure you were okay."

"Thanks," Jonghyun said. "I…" he trailed off, not sure about what he wanted to say. His cheeks were pink, both from the cold and from Minhyun's gentle gaze as he waited for him to speak. "I really appreciate how you support this side of me."

"I support you. Period." Minhyun shook off the way Jonghyun bit his lip and looked away as he said that. "Now, can we please toss some of these papers in the trash? My arms are aching."

Jonghyun laughed, and he walked a bit faster towards a dumpster. "Throw it here. We wouldn't get much use out of them at home anyway."

Minhyun rubbed his hands on his arms as soon as they were free from the heavy load. "It's extra cold today. What's the date again?"

"January 28," said Jonghyun, and he blew into his cupped hands, unaware of Minhyun's frozen expression. He raised an eyebrow at Minhyun's face. "Are you okay?"

Minhyun dug through his pockets for his phone, fumbling with the screen as he went through his unread messages. _"Shit!"_ he hissed. "It's Seonho's birthday today."

"Seonho…?" Jonghyun tilted his head. "Ah! The boy you tutored back in freshman year."

"I can't believe I forgot," said Minhyun. He'd been an awful friend and role model for Seonho in the past few years, barely even visiting or trying to keep in touch with him. "He said he was holding a small party in their apartment. Maybe I can just drop by and give a gift?"

"Yeah, you _should._ Aren't you his— I don't know, his first real crush or something?" Jonghyun giggled at Minhyun's deadpan expression.

"Not funny; that was totally weird. But he's a big kid now— crap, I don't know his size." Minhyun looked around and walked towards a random store. "I literally don't know how big he's gotten. You think buying a shirt's a good idea?"

Jonghyun shrugged. "He's sixteen? He's probably my size or a bit bigger."

"Yeah, you are pretty small," Minhyun said nonchalantly, looking through price tags on hangers. He laughed when Jonghyun shoved him to the side and ended up coughing violently into his hands. "Don't push yourself too hard. Or me, for that matter." Minhyun raised a shirt up against Jonghyun's torso. "This seems like a safe size for a sixteen-year-old, don't you think?"

"Sure," Jonghyun said, coughing again. He wore his mask and dug his hands into his pockets. "I feel like death."

"Do you want to go home? I can probably just pass by Seonho's place some other time," said Minhyun as he paid at the counter. Jonghyun coughed again, and Minhyun reached out to squeeze his shoulder.

Jonghyun shook his head. "No, I wouldn't want you to miss the kid's birthday. It would mean a lot to him."

"I know," said Minhyun, sighing. "I can't believe I've barely been there to watch him grow up. I know him though; I'm sure he's barely changed."

 _That was… a complete lie,_ Minhyun realized as he adjusted his gaze right in front of him instead of a bit below to meet this giant boy's eyes. "Minhyun!" the Seonho lookalike yelled, rushing forward to hug Minhyun. His limbs were longer, but the boy was just as clingy as ever. _This is my Seonho._

"Wow, you've grown so much!" Minhyun managed to say when Seonho gave him enough space to breathe. He looked down at his gift, towards Jonghyun, and back to Seonho. "You're going to have to get this shirt replaced; I didn't think you'd be this _tall._ "

"I'm still growing! I'm just sixteen." Seonho grinned and grabbed Minhyun by the wrist. He peeked behind Minhyun and saw Jonghyun standing awkwardly by the doorway. "Ooh, you're Jonghyun, right?" He perked up when Jonghyun's tail started moving. "A ca—"

"You mind letting us in? It's freezing out here," Minhyun quickly interjected as he messed up Seonho's hair.

"Of course, come in!" Seonho pulled them by their wrists. "You too! Any friend of Minhyun's is welcome here."

"Thanks," Jonghyun said quietly, still trailing behind Minhyun in embarrassment.

The first sight that greeted them was a pile of boys on the floor of the living room, all fighting for the controller to Seonho's console. They stopped their bickering when they saw the tall figure looming in the hallway, but they immediately went back to the brawl when Seonho walked towards the dining room. "Sorry about my friends. They're… well—"

He was disrupted by a loud, _"Ahn Hyungseob, I'm going to kill you!"_ Seonho smacked his face and let go of Minhyun's arm. "Sorry, I better make sure no one dies in our living room." He laughed as he walked away. "Mom, Minhyun's here!"

A head poked out from the kitchen. "Minhyun!" Seonho's mother immediately went out to hug him. "I'm so glad there's a sane voice in this household; I'm glad Seonho's making friends, but do you think the screaming's a good influence on him?"

Minhyun laughed, imagining Seonho's quiet but clingy nature getting along with rowdier folks. "I'm sure they're good kids if Seonho really likes them."

She sighed. "I hope so. I wish his friends were more like you." She grinned. "Go, make yourself at home. Sorry for the late notice and the fact that there are no kids your age here. Good thing you brought a friend."

Jonghyun bowed in thanks, and Minhyun shook his head. "I feel bad that we just stopped by and we'll have to leave soon—"

 _"Nonsense,"_ she said. "Go in the kitchen and at least get yourself something to eat. I have to go check on the kids to see if they broke the couch already." She sighed. "The things I have to deal with…"

Minhyun and Jonghyun were ushered into the kitchen, and Minhyun sighed as Seonho's mother closed the door as she left. "Well, we might as well get a glass of water and wash it right af—"

Jonghyun was busy with a chicken leg when Minhyun turned around. "This, uh… it's not what it looks like," Jonghyun mumbled with half a leg in his mouth. Minhyun stared incredulously as Jonghyun kept eating, innocent eyes locked on Minhyun's while he wouldn't stop eating until the bone was completely cleaned off.

Really, Minhyun wasn't going to lie; he was a little transfixed by the movement of Jonghyun's mouth, the slickness of his lips coated in sauce, the delicacy of his finger's movements as he wiped everything off and cleaned himself up. Minhyun was laughing as he walked over and attempted to cover up the spot of the missing chicken in its box.

"You are shameless, Kim Jonghyun," said Minhyun, licking off the last of the sauce from the chopsticks he used before turning to the sink and washing it again. His hands itched to help Seonho's mom out with the dishes just to remove the sinking feeling in his stomach growing at the sight of the pile of dirty dishes. Jonghyun placed a hand on his shoulder and shook his head.

"Not here, Hwang Minhyun. You can nag in your own home," Jonghyun's expression shifted, "which you always do," his voice dropped to a murmur.

Minhyun turned to face him, mock-offense taking up his expression. "What did you say, shameless freeloader? I can't hear you over the sound of your stomach grumbling."

"I was starving!" Jonghyun whisper-yelled. "Can't you blame the chicken for being right there?"

Minhyun snorted, and he tossed his head back as they finally burst into laughter. "You are ridiculous, and I will have to never show my face in this household again." Minhyun paused. "Was it good at least?"

Jonghyun grinned, and only then did Minhyun notice the hand on his arm, slowly climbing up. "Best chicken I've ever had," said Jonghyun.

Only _then_ did Minhyun notice how close they were standing, how Jonghyun's bright smile was slowly dropping, but his hand was already cupping the side of Minhyun's neck and his eyes were as bright as ever. He didn't know how it happened, but they were inching closer and closer, and Jonghyun was starting to rise on his toes to bridge the gap even quicker.

"You're sick," whispered Minhyun, though he didn't really know why he found a need to disrupt this.

Jonghyun looked away, ready to pull back at the subtle rejection. "Right."

Minhyun took that as his cue to move forward and peck Jonghyun's lips once, _a quick taste._ Jonghyun's fingers curled around Minhyun's neck, and he pulled him down for another taste. Then another. Then another. And _another_ , yet again.

Jonghyun was on his toes to meet Minhyun's kiss, foreheads pressed together every time they remembered that they needed to breathe. Minhyun kissed the tip of his nose, and he was ready to dive back in before the door opened wide and a loud gasp forced the two of them apart.

Standing in the doorway was a bewildered Seonho, and Minhyun instantly walked forward to apologize. "Wait—" Seonho closed the door behind him. "I'm sorry for, uh, disrupting?"

"No, _we're_ sorry," Jonghyun said, clenching his fist into his pocket. Minhyun nodded at him, trying to ignore the way Jonghyun's tongue darted out in nervousness.

"I didn't know you were… um, gay." Seonho avoided Minhyun's eyes and rubbed the back of his neck.

"Does that," Minhyun tried to observe Seonho's expression, "bother you?'

Seonho smiled out of nowhere and shook his head. "Not really, no. I have some friends out there right now who are thinking about it. We're becoming more open nowadays, you know?"

A relieved grin made its way on Minhyun's face. "That's… really great. Can we keep this our secret, Seonho?"

"Of course! Why would I need to tell anyone?" Seonho stepped back and made a frame with his hands, observing the two in front of him. "I just didn't think you two would be—"

"We're not," Jonghyun said firmly _._ Minhyun tried not to jerk back at his tone, his _indignation._

"But then that was—"

Jonghyun shook his head. "It's nothing," Jonghyun looked up at Minhyun, "right?"

Minhyun nodded slowly, trying not to show his disappointment. What did he expect? Jonghyun never expressed anything about what this meant to him. So if they kissed, that was it. Nothing to look into. Minhyun shouldn't have been surprised.

"Yeah," replied Minhyun, maybe a beat too late. He hugged Seonho by the shoulders. "I'm sorry we have to go so soon. We're going to have to catch the next bus back home."

"It's okay," said Seonho, always smiling whenever Minhyun showed a bit of affection for him. He hugged Minhyun back fully, and Minhyun spluttered as the air was forced out of his lungs by Seonho's improved bear hug. "I missed you. Stop by more often."

"I'll try," said Minhyun, and he found himself feeling a bit sad when Seonho finally let him go. This kid _adored_ him, and he didn't even get to watch him grow up. Still, he's not too late. "Are you still taking piano? Invite me to your next recital."

"That's boring though," said Seonho. He paused to contemplate. "Oh I know! I have a basketball game next week. Can you come?"

Minhyun chuckled. "Send me all the details. I'll bring you a support banner."

Seonho was looking at Jonghyun, waiting for a reply. Jonghyun perked up, a little embarrassed that he was acting like a spectator. "I— I'd love to." Jonghyun smiled shakily when he saw Minhyun encouraging him with his eyes. Their expressions softened, matched. "We'll be your loudest supporters, we promise," he said, eyes still on Minhyun.

They said their goodbyes, and they scrambled into the first bus they saw, grateful for a reprieve from the cold. Jonghyun dug his fists into his coat pockets and leaned on Minhyun's shoulder, slowly falling asleep. Minhyun, as always, just let him do whatever he wanted.

That's how this started, right? Jonghyun offered something that Minhyun was curious about, and they pursued it. Minhyun thought this was finally a chance for him to address his stupid feelings; instead, he realized that maybe Jonghyun just wasn't into it. Maybe Jonghyun wanted to play it casual, to tread lightly and test the waters so it would be easy to jump back out if it wasn't what he was looking for. Maybe that was exactly what this was, and Minhyun played himself by putting too much hope into it.

"Hey," Jonghyun whispered, low enough for only Minhyun to hear, "we're friends, right?"

Minhyun didn't know what to say. "Best friends, always."

"Then is _this—_ " Jonghyun didn't need to name what he was referring to, "Is this something best friends do? I'm— I'm getting confused, Minhyun. I… don't really know what to expect from us anymore."

"I think," Minhyun paused to contemplate his words, "you made it clear earlier."

Jonghyun stayed silent after that. Minhyun thought he just ran out of words to say, but then he felt the purring vibrating through his chest. _Of course he's asleep, right as we're talking about something important._

Minhyun sighed, arm over Jonghyun's shoulders slowly moving. His hand settled on Jonghyun's head, and he ran his fingers through Jonghyun's soft hair, as he always did. At first, Jonghyun was groaning softly, purrs getting deeper. He breathed deeply, smiling at the scent that reminded him of home.

Then he jerked up, sitting ramrod straight and creating distance from Minhyun. He usually responded better than this. Jonghyun couldn't meet his eyes. "Please… don't."

They spent the rest of that night in silence, the strangest rift growing between them. This was always their cycle, except… Minhyun didn't know if he even wanted it to start again. He sat in bed with his knees against his chest, a little lonely, a little bit sure that he needed to move on from Jonghyun— _finally._

 

 

———

 

 

With Jaehwan's insistence and an exasperated _"fuck it",_ Minhyun finally decided to take Seongwoo up on his offer to go out for dinner.

In simpler terms, he went out on a date. And it was… nice.

Seongwoo was a new character in Minhyun's life, and the flirting and the talking and the getting to know someone part of a relationship was something Minhyun hadn't experienced in a while. Seongwoo was interesting; he was the type who got involved in a lot of things because he was clever and funny and sociable enough to have a good network of people who liked him.

Minhyun was part of that network. Minhyun liked him, but he didn't like him enough to really guarantee him more than a first date.

When he told that to Seongwoo, he received a good-natured laugh in response. "I tried," he said. They stopped in front of Minhyun's apartment building, and a part of Minhyun knew he had to end this date well somehow. "I won't hope, but I'm always available."

Minhyun chuckled. "Okay, that might have scored you some plus points."

"On what scale?" Seongwoo ears perked up and he grinned. He was ready to push and pull, if that was what Minhyun was playing at.

"Maybe on the 'I'll call you the next time I'm free' scale. Sounds good?" Minhyun smiled and waved. "Bye, Seongwoo."

As he turned around, Seongwoo reached out for his arm, stopping him from leaving just yet. Minhyun quirked an eyebrow. "What? Hoping for one last look?"

Seongwoo laughed again, and when he realized that Minhyun wasn't taking any more steps towards him, he slowly let go. "Just maybe. Good night, Minhyun."

If this were a romantic movie, Minhyun would smile at Seongwoo and leave with a peck on the cheek or a quick taste of a kiss. Unfortunately, this was the middle of winter, and Minhyun was freezing as they stood staring at each other in the middle of the street. He waved Seongwoo goodbye and stomped up the stairs, excited to sit by the heater for a whole night to defrost.

He came home to a light in the kitchen and the end of a tail suddenly dropping down low as Minhyun locked the door behind him. Jonghyun came out, bundled up in a sweater— _Minhyun's sweater_ —and his expression was confused, lost. Minhyun dropped his keys in the bowl and took off his scarf and coat. "I'm home."

"You…" Jonghyun's brows furrowed. "You smell different."

Minhyun, suddenly self-conscious, raised his arms slowly. "I promise I take a shower every day?" Minhyun approached Jonghyun slowly. "Is there something wrong?"

Jonghyun shook his head, hand reaching out to touch Minhyun's arm. "You don't smell right." He looked up at Minhyun with those big eyes, face suddenly alarmed. "It's not— this isn't right."

"I— I don't know what to say," whispered Minhyun, but he let out a small groan as Jonghyun gripped his shoulders tightly. "What are you doing—"

"I'm fixing this," said Jonghyun. He slid his hands over Minhyun's shoulders and hugged his torso, nosing at his neck. He rubbed his ears against Minhyun's jaw, breathing in and murmuring before moving towards another spot on Minhyun's neck. His hands wandered across Minhyun's back, gripping at the cloth as he inhaled deeply. "It's still there… I can't let it…" He pressed his forehead against Minhyun's collarbone and let his hands wander up, up, up until they were tangled in Minhyun's hair.

Minhyun just… stood there. His entire body was pressed up against Jonghyun's, and he felt himself become warmer and warmer as Jonghyun's hot breath puffed against his skin. Jonghyun was still rubbing up against him, body to body contact slowly driving Minhyun _insane_. He felt Jonghyun too, felt his arousal match the heat of his breath, the heat of his gaze as he pulled back to look into Minhyun's glassy eyes.

"Jonghyun," Minhyun whispered, placing his hands on Jonghyun's hips to at least give the two of them some more space to breathe.

"You're supposed to… smell like home," Jonghyun mumbled. At that instant, Jonghyun sobered up, eyes widening as he stepped back. _"Shit,"_ he whispered, "I'm sorry."

Minhyun was left standing by the hallway, painfully hard but also painfully confused. What the _hell_ was that? Jonghyun always said Minhyun's smell reminded him of home, but why did he suddenly—

The date. _Seongwoo_. Jonghyun was smelling Seongwoo on Minhyun and he _hated_ it, so he tried… marking him? Minhyun heard of it before, but he didn't think Jonghyun would do it. To _him_. Not after what they just talked about the other day.

But if Jonghyun was so bothered by someone else's scent on Minhyun, if he cared enough to try and wipe that scent away, to mark Minhyun for himself, that must have meant… he wanted Minhyun. One way or the other.

Minhyun approached the kitchen slowly, not wanting to startle Jonghyun any further. Jonghyun was resting his head on the refrigerator, knuckles almost white as he gripped the handle. _"Jonghyun,"_ he said slowly. When Minhyun was close enough to touch Jonghyun, he jerked back at the heat of Jonghyun's skin. "Jonghyun, please look at me."

"I'm sorry," said Jonghyun. "I didn't mean to—"

Minhyun cupped his face. _"Jonghyun, mark me."_

Jonghyun's eyes widened, and he held Minhyun's forearms tightly, trying to pull his hands away. "You don't know what you're asking for."

"I do," then Minhyun leaned forward to kiss Jonghyun once again.

This time, just like the last time, or the time before that, or every other moment that they shared, was perfect. No awkward movements, no elbows digging into ribs, no cold countertops or refrigerator door handles could diminish the ecstasy of kissing Jonghyun. Before, there was the slightest bit of restraint, the unsaid boundaries of their friendship still hindering them from releasing all of the pent-up tension that led them to this very moment.

Now, Jonghyun had Minhyun pressed against the refrigerator, teeth digging into Minhyun's bottom lip as he clawed through the sleeve of the arm that Seongwoo held just a few minutes earlier. Jonghyun wanted to erase every trace of that unfamiliar scent, to overwhelm Minhyun with the scent that he couldn't even detect. Minhyun wanted to feel that unbridled passion until it _hurt,_ until Jonghyun was sucking marks into his neck and collarbone, until neither of them knew how much time had passed since they started this.

Minhyun was starting to get dizzy. His breaths came in quick but deep inhales before Jonghyun pulled him back in again, holding him by the collar of his loosened shirt. Minhyun had his hands on Jonghyun's hair, grinning against Jonghyun's lips as each little movement of his hands caused Jonghyun to moan and to purr even louder.

"Jonghyun," Minhyun mumbled against his jaw. Their bodies were cramped against the refrigerator, and Minhyun _knew_ that Jonghyun wanted this too. He could feel it: the heat rising between them. His tail brushed past Minhyun's hand, and the strange sensation made Minhyun jump and hold Jonghyun's waist even tighter. "Jonghyun, Jonghyun, Jonghyun…"

Jonghyun breathed deeply again, a smile pressed against Minhyun's temple. "That's right," he said, tongue now tracing the lobe of Minhyun's ear. "You smell right." Then he bit _hard._

Minhyun jerked back, surprised at the sudden clamping of sharp teeth against his ear. "What—"

Jonghyun cupped Minhyun's face. He pressed their foreheads together, their heavy breaths mingling. When he stepped back and tilted his head to observe the mess he made of Minhyun, his eyes grew even hazier as he stroked the bite mark on Minhyun's ear with his thumb softly. He traced lines on Minhyun's bewildered face, both confused and aroused. Jonghyun's thumb rested below Minhyun's kiss-swollen lips, and he slowly leaned forward to take in the scent that he left on Minhyun.

And then, and then… he sobered up again. His eyes, once dark and blown wide, seemed to mirror the confusion in Minhyun's, _just_ the confusion. Bit by bit, Jonghyun pulled away, the weight of his actions suddenly dawning on him. Minhyun watched as his face fell, as he stumbled backwards to distance himself from the state that he left Minhyun in. And Minhyun—as always—was left standing there, waiting for Jonghyun to take the next step.

He did. He ran as far away as he could from Minhyun, taking his coat and his keys and slamming the door on his way out.

Minhyun had half a heart to chase after him, to figure out _what the hell just happened between them,_ but it wouldn't lead to anything. He sank to the floor, hands shaking and body still thrumming from the crazy amount of stimulation that he got and was quickly deprived of as soon as Jonghyun realized what they were doing.

He… _god, he wanted it._ He wanted Jonghyun. It was stupid to deny that he was attracted to him, that _they_ were attracted to each other. There was no way that they could have done all that if Jonghyun didn't at least want Minhyun in that way. But then he ran.

And Minhyun— _as always—_ was left behind, wondering when it all went wrong— and if it'll ever be the same, if it'll ever feel alright again.

 

 

———

 

 

Minhyun stumbled into the café, cold and eager to just sit down for the rest of the day and study. Unfortunately for him, Minki and Dongho were already at their usual booth eating breakfast and messing around. Minhyun slipped into the other side, and Minki instantly recoiled and stood up.

"Oh, you're _disgusting,_ " Minki mumbled.

"You look like shit, dude," said Dongho, and he reached over to pull Minhyun's scarf down. "Is that— holy shit, did you have sex on the first date?"

Minhyun smacked his hand away and pulled the scarf up even higher. "No!" he hissed.

"Make out?"

"Not even a damn kiss," mumbled Minhyun.

Dongho's eyes widened. "So if it's not Seongwoo…" He made a face. "Actually, I don't want to know what you and Jonghyun just did."

"It's not just that," Minki said, face still contorted in displeasure. "You _reek_ of Jonghyun." Dongho and Minhyun stared at him in confusion. "Did he— I don't know how to say this, but did he _mark_ you?"

Minhyun's flush covered his entire face. "I didn't think—"

"Kissing and rubbing is standard scent marking, but he did something that really claimed you," said Minki, ears moving around as he sniffed Minhyun subtly. "Did he… bite you?"

Dongho made gagging noises at the side. Minhyun was looking redder and redder by the second. His embarrassment was clearly escalating, and it got worse when he saw Seongwoo enter the café. Their eyes met, and Seongwoo approached their booth with a smile.

"Hey," greeted Minhyun, a little grateful for the distraction from his interrogation. "Want to sit with us?"

Seongwoo's smile faltered as he came closer, and he paused to look at the others in the table. Minki shrugged and shook his head, focusing on his food to avoid Seongwoo's gaze. "Thanks, but, um, I'm going to take my coffee to the library."

"Are you sure? There's a free space right here; we're all about to study anyway." Minhyun patted the seat beside him.

Seongwoo shook his head as he took small steps backwards. "No, really, it's fine. I— I'll see you around, Minhyun." Then he walked away as quickly as he could, buying coffee and leaving with only a disturbed glance at Minhyun on his way out.

Minhyun's head started to hurt. "What just happened? Last night, he was totally into me."

Minki snorted. "Yeah, that was before you started exuding a scent that every hybrid could smell all around the block. He's a smart guy for knowing when to back off now that you're claimed."

"Holy shit," Dongho cackled, "you're Jonghyun's bitch?"

Minki choked when he tried to suppress his laughter. "I _do not_ approve of using that word," he hit Dongho's arm, "… but it's true."

"Oh god." Minhyun buried his face into his hands. "How long will this _scent mark_ last?"

Minki hummed thoughtfully. "A week, more or less?"

 _"Oh god,"_ Minhyun groaned, "and after that?"

Minki sighed and cleared his throat, trying to think of how to explain a concept that humans didn't even have a sense for. "Here's how this works: you got marked by Jonghyun. Your scent is now being overpowered by his. The bulk of it lasts for a week, but it'll wear off as long as you two don't maintain any intimate physical contact."

"Which might be difficult now that you two are getting frisky," mumbled Dongho.

Minhyun sighed. "It's a lot easier than you think, now that Jonghyun's going to start avoiding me again. He stormed out last night, and I don't even know if he came home."

"Sorry, Minhyun, but as much as you want to maintain that contact just to make sure that you two are still okay, Jonghyun's doing the right thing by staying away. This, uh, is about to get awkward," warned Minki. When Minhyun's curiosity showed no signs of letting up, Minki sighed again and avoided his gaze. "Hybrids mark each other… when they're about to mate."

Dongho spurted out the water he was drinking, nearly choking to death as Minki attempted to explain. Minhyun stared at his hands. When he asked that of Jonghyun, he _really_ didn't know what he was asking for.

"Marking is an important part of a hybrid wedding ceremony. Thus, it's kind of expected that they would take the next week off to… procreate," said Minki, trying to slow it down for a dumbstruck Minhyun. "Scents are natural aphrodisiacs for hybrids; the smell of our own scents mixing with someone else's is very arousing. _Very._ It increases libido, stamina, all that jazz.

"Jonghyun is staying away from you because this is a natural urge for him. He doesn't want to… force you into this? Even if you think it's what _you_ want, Jonghyun isn't in the right mind for that." Minki tapped his fingers on the table. "Maybe he doesn't want to pursue something sexual when he's under the influence of his mark on you. Or maybe he doesn't want to pursue something sexual _at all_."

Minhyun… didn't know what to say.

"Wait, there's something I don't get here," Dongho said when he finally stopped choking. "Hybrids mark each other to claim one another, right? A show of possession, in a sense?" Minki nodded. "But Jonghyun, in all the years that we've known him, has never been that type." Dongho paused. "Has he even dated before?"

"Who knows? The boy barely has time to breathe, let alone meet people," Minki said.

Dongho shook his head. "Back to my point, Jonghyun doesn't _claim_ people. This entire thing is out of his comfort zone. Especially, you know, making out with one of his closest friends." Dongho looked at Minhyun earnestly. "Giving Jonghyun space for the next week or so might help him clear his mind. You know what you want, but does he?"

Minhyun… didn't actually know what he wanted. Too much of a good thing wasn't good anymore, and as much as he liked Jonghyun; as much as they fit together just right; as much as they were essentially a couple with their stupid domestic rituals and their stupid gifts for their friends and the stupid way Jonghyun would cling to Minhyun after a long day and the stupid smile Minhyun always reserved for _just_ _Jonghyun_ ; it still didn't feel right if Jonghyun didn't want this the way he did.

"I should," Minhyun said softly. "I will."

"That's good," replied Minki, noting the somber tone of Minhyun's voice. He patted Minhyun's shoulder. "It'll work out, Minhyun. Just talk about it. You're friends; this should be easy."

"But until then," Dongho took a sip, "you're Jonghyun's bitch."

 

 

———

 

 

Minhyun missed Jonghyun.

He knew they were staying away from each other for their own good, but it didn't stop him from feeling so… empty? No matter how busy Jonghyun was, they always found a way to communicate, to leave little messages on boxes of leftovers or to send a simple text about what time they were bound to go home. Minhyun found himself living with a ghost and living _like_ one too.

Minhyun didn't want to admit that he missed blurring the line between friendship and something more with Jonghyun. When he hugged Jonghyun, when he held his hand or gave him an extra piece of meat during dinner because he always looked more and more tired each day, he knew exactly what he was doing. He knew he liked Jonghyun and he was trying to show it, but he didn't get how Jonghyun wasn't seeing his intentions as clear as day.

When they started the kissing thing, Minhyun thought he was finally getting his message across. If Jonghyun responded, he wanted this too. If he pushed Minhyun away, Minhyun knew he should just back off and leave it alone. It was supposed to be clearer, to be easier; it wasn't supposed to be like _this._ He wasn't supposed to fall for Jonghyun more and more without receiving any clear sign about where this was all headed. He wasn't supposed to be marked by Jonghyun the way lovers do just to be pushed away and to be avoided.

He wasn't supposed to hate himself for possibly _—probably—_ ruining one of the most important friendships in his life.

Minhyun went to bed—on a Thursday night, their movie nights, the nights when they were supposed to be together—trying to ignore the sinking feeling in his stomach. Everything was wrong, wrong, wrong, and it was all his fault. Giving it some time was the right thing to do, but nothing ever felt right anymore.

He woke up in the middle of the night to a body beside him, hogging the covers just a tiny bit. Minhyun pulled the curtain apart to let some light in, and he was surprised to see Jonghyun, sleeping peacefully beside him.

Jonghyun sleeping peacefully beside him— with a black eye, a cut on his cheek, and an ice pack melting in a bowl on Minhyun's bedside table.

Minhyun turned on his lamp, turning to face Jonghyun on the bed. Jonghyun groaned, squinting at the sudden source of light and trying to turn away. "Don't move," said Minhyun, lifting a hand to inspect Jonghyun's cheek. Jonghyun hissed as his hand made contact with the wound, and Minhyun noted his puffed-out tail and his glare as he opened his eyes. "What happened to you? I'm going to get a new ice pack—"

 _"Don't,"_ Jonghyun said, holding Minhyun's hand. He gripped his wrist and pleaded with his eyes. He gave Minhyun a pained look that Minhyun couldn't quite place, something between "I don't want to talk about it" and "please just let it go". Minhyun lied back down, facing Jonghyun and refusing to let go of his gaze.

"What happened?" whispered Minhyun. Jonghyun was about to brush him off, but Minhyun shifted their hands and held onto Jonghyun's wrist. He stroked his thumb on Jonghyun's pulse point, attempting to shut down Jonghyun's defenses for once. "Please tell me. I can't— you can't let me worry about you like this."

Jonghyun bit his lip. "I got into a fight, okay? It's nothing. It's over now."

_"Jonghyun—"_

"Please," he squeezed Minhyun's hand, "I don't want to talk about this now, just— go. Turn around. Go back to sleep."

Minhyun held his gaze for a bit longer, trying to look for the sadness in those sparkling eyes. He saw it, clear as day, as Jonghyun's bruised eye winced in an attempt to remain opened. Minhyun wanted to reach out, to use his cold hands to help Jonghyun somehow, to _fix things._ He wished he were there with Jonghyun to prevent him from getting into whatever mess caused this. He wished he didn't fuck up so bad and didn't force something on Jonghyun so that they could talk about this and Minhyun would nag at Jonghyun and Jonghyun would say he was just fighting for what he thought was right and Minhyun would keep nagging as he tended to every little wound or bruise on Jonghyun's body.

Then— then Jonghyun would smile up at him as he sat on the couch. Jonghyun would hold the hand that was keeping an ice pack on his cheek and he would say, _"thank you."_

Minhyun would smile back. He would pinch Jonghyun's uninjured cheek and he wouldn't have anything to say. He would smile back and wait until Jonghyun got tired of looking up at him, and they would fall asleep as they watched a movie on a Thursday night— _their_ Thursday nights.

Except all Minhyun could do now was turn around, turn off the lamp, pull the curtains back, and pretend to fall asleep as he worried about Jonghyun for the rest of the night.

He couldn't even close his eyes until he felt Jonghyun snake his arm over his waist and hug him from behind. Minhyun felt Jonghyun's ears tickle the back of his neck, and Jonghyun nosed between his shoulder blades. His hand slid up to rest against Minhyun's chest, and Minhyun took that chance to hold Jonghyun's hand against his heart, to let him feel how it was beating against his chest.

Minhyun missed this. Minhyun missed the way Jonghyun inhaled deeply because Minhyun's scent smelled like _home,_ like _him_. Minhyun missed Jonghyun's soft purrs and the way he snuggled closer to Minhyun as his breathing got deeper. Minhyun missed the way his heart would skip a beat because of Jonghyun, _always_ because of him. He wondered if he was the only one who missed every moment like this, if he was the only one that felt empty for these past few days.

Then finally, _"I missed you."_

And that was enough. The soft whisper against the skin of his neck was enough for Minhyun to smile and to fall asleep in peace for once.

When Minhyun woke up to an empty bed, he wasn't too broken up about it. Last night was enough. Things would be… fine.

 

 

———

 

 

Minhyun closed the door behind him and slid down to sit on the floor. Jonghyun sighed, turned on a lamp, and sat on the edge of his bed. They faced each other, too afraid to make the next move.

It had been a bit over a week since the marking incident. Jonghyun finally came home, and Minhyun swallowed his fear for a talk that was long overdue. He was still scared of confronting Jonghyun like this, but it was about time.

"Tell me," Minhyun started with a crack in his voice, "when did it all go wrong?" When Jonghyun kept his eyes on the floor—his black eye was well taken care of and was almost completely faded—Minhyun felt compelled to keep going. "I know this is all my fault; I sprung this all on you, and all you did was respond. I understand that. I just… I wish you made it clear that—"

" _I_ don't understand, Minhyun." Jonghyun grit his teeth. "I don't understand what we're doing, _why_ we're doing this. I don't understand how we could be friends in one moment, and in the next, we're… whatever _this,_ " Jonghyun motioned between them, "is. Or whatever it's supposed to be."

"Do you hate it?" Minhyun asked, cautious with each word. "Do you want it to stop? Because I can, and I _will_ completely back off if you—"

Jonghyun sighed. "I don't hate it. I can't— I can't deny that I kissed you first, Minhyun. And I can't deny that I responded when we kept doing it again and again," he said. The embarrassment was obvious in the blush on his cheeks. A spark of hope lit up Minhyun's expression, but the pensive way Jonghyun bit his lip pushed it back far down.

"So when? And where did it all go wrong?" Minhyun's voice was starting to rise, frustrated at the answers that he was getting but the questions that came in right after.

"I— I don't know!" Jonghyun whisper-yelled. His fingers were gripping the sheets, and he was still unable to really look Minhyun in the eyes. "Every time we do this, I feel so… out of character? I don't feel like myself. I do things I would _never_ have done." This time, he was able to meet Minhyun's eyes. "I didn't mean to mark you, Minhyun. Even if you don't sense it yourself, I know it was embarrassing for you to walk around just— _smelling_ of me. I'm sorry I did that.

"I'm sorry I couldn't _control myself._ And maybe… maybe that's what's wrong. This isn't _me,_ Minhyun!" He grit his teeth again, and his shallow breathing got in the way of his words. "I would never have thought of claiming anyone, not even in marriage or whenever people expected me to. I would never mark anyone out of—what—pure instinct? It's so…" Jonghyun wasn't speaking clearly anymore. "It's wrong? It's so primal? And I don't—"

"Wait, what's so _wrong_ with that?" Minhyun furrowed his brows. "I— I get that it's not something you would normally do, but you didn't hurt me or anything. What's wrong with following a harmless instinct?"

Jonghyun shook his head. "But I could have! Or I could have forced you into doing something you don't want to do—"

"Trust me, Jonghyun; there's nothing I would say no to when it comes to you." Minhyun delivered that with such honesty, with earnest eyes that seemed to dampen the heat growing in Jonghyun's words. "Something tells me that's not the point. That's not the issue here. Why are you so frustrated at a harmless instinct that you naturally have? You're a cat; it's not wrong—"

"I'm not just a cat," Jonghyun said, voice strained as he stared at Minhyun.

"You _aren't;_ I never said that you were _just_ a cat!" Minhyun couldn't control his frustration anymore. His eyes narrowed at Jonghyun. "I don't get you. You're so proud of fighting for hybrid rights, of having a stand in all these issues, but when it comes to _being_ one," he shook his head, "you hate every bit of it."

Jonghyun looked away. "You hate being a hybrid, don't you?" Minhyun's tone softened as he saw the tears starting to well up in Jonghyun's eyes. "You hate how difficult your life has been, how you had to fight for everything you've achieved now." Minhyun waited for Jonghyun to look at him before he tried finishing his piece. "You hate the fact that you have to fight in the first place. You hate how you have these instincts, and you keep fighting against what you naturally are.

"You hate that… you can't stop your knees from getting weak whenever I pet your ears. You hate how your tail always gives away your mood. You hate how you purr in your sleep since you can't take a nap on the bus because you don't want to disturb anyone. You hate how you recoil every time we have to visit Dongho at his dorm room because you know you're going to smell something disgusting the moment you walk in." The last bit made them chuckle, and Minhyun realized how much he really missed that perfect smile. "You… hate things that are natural to you. They're endearing, sure, but I don't really see that anymore," Minhyun said as he played with the string of his sweatpants.

Somehow as he kept going, he became more and more conscious of what he really felt and what he was really trying to say. "I just see you. I see all parts of you, and being a cat hybrid isn't something you can remove from yourself. It's… who you are. It's not all that there is to you," Minhyun emphasized if ever Jonghyun tried to interrupt, "but it's something you should accept. Something you should love." He met Jonghyun's eyes. "I know I do."

And he's met with… silence. Jonghyun's avoiding his eyes, playing with the sleeves of— yes, another one of Minhyun's sweaters. He must have missed the scent, and Minhyun felt a bit sorry that he couldn't be there to comfort Jonghyun or to be with him for the past week. Minhyun wanted to walk over, to give him a hug, to kiss the top of his forehead. He wanted Jonghyun to cling onto him so he could smell his _home,_ so he would know that he _is_ home and Minhyun would always be there for him.

Minhyun stood up and glanced at Jonghyun before turning to open the door. As soon he turned the knob, a hand slid down his arm and stopped him from leaving. "Wait." Jonghyun rested his forehead between Minhyun's shoulder blades again, breathing deeply before turning Minhyun around and pulling him down for a soft kiss. Minhyun's eyes widened before he gasped into Jonghyun's mouth and melted into his embrace.

He wasn't hoping for anything really. With his realization, Minhyun knew that Jonghyun needed time. He needed to heal; he needed to come to terms with himself at his own pace. Minhyun could wait.

For now, he held Jonghyun in his arms, allowing Jonghyun to set the pace he wanted. Minhyun pulled away first, and he pressed kisses against Jonghyun's temple as Jonghyun nosed at his neck and rubbed his ears under Minhyun's jaw. The movement was small and innocent enough; Minhyun hugged Jonghyun tighter when he inhaled deeply and smiled against Minhyun's collarbone. He was marking his territory, renewing his scent. Minhyun didn't know why this little thing comforted him more than that kiss.

"Did you mean it," Jonghyun whispered when he pulled away and stared into Minhyun's eyes for long enough, "when you said you liked me? For all that I am?"

Minhyun chuckled. "'Like' wasn't exactly the word I used."

"I…" Jonghyun looked away with a pained expression. His hands were shaking as they slid down Minhyun's arms and let go of him. Minhyun immediately wanted to jump back in to hold Jonghyun again. Jonghyun seemed to be choosing his words, running circles around his head to try to respond to Minhyun's confession.

"I… can't say something I don't mean," said Jonghyun, taking it one word at a time. "At least, not yet."

"Then," Minhyun leaned back on the door to really look at Jonghyun, at the slight hesitation in his body and the spark that was even brighter than ever in his eyes, "I can wait."

Jonghyun's tail rose. "Well, _I_ can't."

"What are you saying?" asked Minhyun, face starting to drop. Jonghyun cupped his cheek, stroking his cheekbones and urging him to turn his head and press a kiss against Jonghyun’s palm.

A smile itched at Jonghyun's lips. "I can't wait to mean it."

**Author's Note:**

> WOW OKAY so happy to have written my first (and hopefully not last) longfic for NU'EST & 2hyun!!!  
> people who follow me on twitter know i scream over [catboy!jonghyun](https://twitter.com/amenochieienn/status/899274991325241345) all the damn time so this fic should be no surprise to y'all  
> i have lots of ideas i'm totally willing to discuss in the comments!! please leave all your input, ideas, random screaming over the beauty of catboy!jonghyun, ANYTHING AT ALL <3  
> (also i was thinking of writing an epilogue to this but decided to cut it out; let me know if you'd be interested in something like that haha)
> 
> this is still heavily unedited lmao i will be correcting things as i go  
> title from Neon Trees - Sleeping with a Friend  
> follow me on [twitter (@amenochieien)](http://twitter.com/amenochieien/)!


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